It’s The Little Things

It’s the little things that can make or break your world…

This is a picture of my back yard. I woke up this morning to not just one broken sprinkler head but all except one (7) broken sprinklers spewing water willy nilly all over the place. This immediately scared my pug who was in the middle of doing her business (pretty funny to see the terror as she decided do I keep pooping?) The tortoise loved it and came out of hiding to play in the water. You may not be able to tell from this photo; however, the water was shooting up through the tree and raining back down which made a very beautiful natural water feature. That was not my first thought when looking out at the problem this morning

Every Thought Should Be Held Captive

Captive – To take prisoner or to confine. Experience over the years has taught me to take my thoughts captive, to lock them in my heart never to be let out. But I want to set the ‘captives free’. It is time to speak my mind and not fear what other think. It can cause pain but locking everything up in my heart is causing far more personal pain than I could have imagined. I want to take people captive with my thought’s not imprison myself by keeping silent. It causes a lack of communication which only brings about a downward spiral of loneliness.

It’s The Little Things

I will use the photo from above as my example today but the ‘little things’ are relevant in every situation. We have to choose what to focus on. Do I start by getting angry that the people who chose to bless me by cleaning my yard (because I was honestly overwhelmed with the amount of work to do) for breaking the sprinklers. Do I then get frustrated that they didn’t say anything (looking back they obviously had no idea it happened) Do I then begin to let it go further and think every thing is wrong, now I have to spend money I don’t have to fix everything? Instead, I have to learn to focus on the good. Someone (other than myself) cleaned not only my back yard but the front as well. Someone trimmed all the trees for me, picked up all the leaves, cleaned out all the shrubs, cut the grass, and hauled everything to the dump. Plus that leak gave me a crazy awesome photo that left me feeling peaceful as if I was looking at a custom water fountain.

When we only look at what has gone wrong in our day we miss out on all the things that could bring us a little more joy and peace.

Something that personally really effects my life in terms of the little things is called Misophonia – The literal hatred of sound. Now I don’t hate all sound, I don’t want to never hear anything again in my life. However, there are certain sounds that set me on edge to the point where I physically want to slap someone. For example, someone eating with their mouths open, someone chewing ice, someone biting their nails. It goes a little further than sound in the fact that sight can trigger this as well, someone repeating a bad habit or doing something that I personally believe they should know better than to do. I know this is physiological to some degree in that it effects me more when it is family or loved ones close to me who trigger these emotions in me. It is something I really struggle with because even in my own opinion my responses are uncalled for and ridiculous. It not only causes me pain but those I love pain when I snap at them. I hate this and it causes me to keep what I think to my self all the more turning into depression. Because they don’t care how it makes me feel, they do it on purpose to get a response out of me, or I self criticize to the point that I no longer wish to have any interaction with people. My family knows this all to well as I have an extremely difficult time eating at the dinner table with everyone and they have learned how to help in these situation. I am grateful for them. I also now see some of these same traits in my younger sister and it kills me inside to think that because I was so angry when I was younger to my family it has effected the way she views and thinks about things as well. This specific topic causes me a lot on anxiety to even talk about so I will end it here because I am struggling to breath and getting dizzy even just scratching the surface of this issue. But it is very relevant and important so I may address this again in the future.

Be Grateful

It’s the little things that I am grateful that are able to pull me up out of the depths of depression. When my husband holds me without looking at his phone, when I get a text from a friend, when someone eats food that I have made and enjoys it, when I have alone time to sing and play music and create new songs. When I see someone else being kind to another in this world my joy tank is filled. I have to stand on these good things, so many times after a great day the fall on the other side seems to be all the worse. But I continue to believe tomorrow will be a better day.

Things I am grateful for . . .