Have you ever been in love…

and then experienced loss? It’s like one by one the color slowly fades out of your life. The same is said for when you first experience love, piece by piece everything seems brighter and more vibrant. The bible talks about love in 1 Corinthians 13:1-7

1 Corinthians 13 New International Version (NIV)

13 If I speak in the tongues^[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.²If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.³If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,^[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.

⁴Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.⁵It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.⁶Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.⁷It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

I personally love this passage because it talks about without love nothing makes since. Without love nothing has purpose. Without love why bother, that is my take on it. Even better it doesn’t stop there. Love is kind love is patient, it is not self-seeking.

Something I have learned through depressing is in relationships, whether it be family, friends or coworkers. If you communicate with someone without love there is no point. If I call my best friend to talk but I don’t care at all what her week was like or what she has been through and only want to talk about myself, she can tell. In the same way, if I am around a bunch of people and someone asks me out of ‘politeness’ How are you today? and then keeps walking not waiting for a response. I immediately think why would I talk to them? They don’t love me, they don’t care about me. So instead of being honest I will just say I’m fine…(back to my first blog… I’m fantastic -It’s a better lie)

This same concept has also taught be to be patient. There are people who have invested time into me and our relationship together. I know they care, I know they listen when I talk. There are instants when they are short with me, or have attitude, or angry. But I make sure to be patient because they have invested into loving me I know in that moment they are going through a rough time. They need a moment of grace, they may be depressed themselves or hurting and they need that gift of love and mercy.

My husband works an ungodly amount of hours during the week. This causes tiredness, shortness, and anger in our relationship. But he has invested into our relationship so I know that he still loves me in those times. I may still get depressed or sadden when those moments arise, but it never fails. He will always come back and apologize and let me know, I was tired I was a jerk forgive me. My love tank begins to fill as he hugs me and all the sudden the color of our relationship is just a little brighter.

This photo is of our recent trip to the San Diego Zoo. It was my husbands first time and we were both excited. I knew I would get to spend the whole day with the one who loves me most. Even though I could have gotten sad because it was hot and so we did not want to hold hands, I knew that was not a reflection of the amount of love he had for me. If I had gotten upset over that little thing I would have missed out on getting to spend the whole day with him. We walked every inch of that park in 4 hours 20,000+ steps. We were tired and hot, but the time and the love we had together added to the currency in my love tank.

It’s really all about love. One of my best friends struggles with depression a lot. To the point where she is seeking medical help with medication. (I advise everyone to seek medical attention – I am a Christian, I do believe that God heals people, I also believe that he gave doctors the wisdom to create medication that help with all forms of sickness and pain.) So I love this friend dearly, but I was so absorbed in my own depression over the last few months that I had not reached out to her. I did not realize she was also going through a really dark time. Our friendship love tank was empty. We finally got the change to hand out and she told me all that she was going through. All those times the last few months I had felt alone, I had forgotten that there were other around me who also wanted to spend time with me. Friendship is a two way street, So I made a decision right then. I needed to incest more time in my friendships. I made sure that instead of excuses I went and spent time with her. It not only changed our friendship, it help restore some joy and hope in my heart. I am not alone, I have people who love me and I will not give up on this life.

Life is going to be wild, it’s going to be great, and it’s going to be good for me. I just need to step out and live in love.