So I woke up this morning feeling extremely apprehensive. My heart felt like I had drunken too many energy drinks while the rest of my body just wanted to go back to sleep. This worried me because I started freaking out that something was wrong. I got ready left for work grabbed some gas for the car and a breakfast burrito. After eating I started feeling better. A notification popped up on my Facebook that my friend was live. She is a Christian Music Artist and was doing a video on feeling down and just needed some Jesus time so she began to worship prophetically and invited the world of Facebook to join her. I want to encourage everyone today. If you need some hope and joy in your morning check out her video below. It has defiantly improved my morning.
Enjoy Life – One Day At A Time
Something I haven’t talked a lot about yet in my blog is that I am religious. This plays a big part in my life. In regards to depression I believe the church can be the worst and the best thing to get help. Some church’s hide depression like it’s a dirty word, some believe it is a demonic oppression (it can be but not always in my opinion), while others can help you find the peace and joy you are searching for to help. When I was younger I grew up in a church were you put on a plastic mask and pretend that everything is ok. FYI my parents were the pastors. HAHA, so this has been deeply ingrained into my mind and hard to change. I believed I always had to be a perfect, people pleasing person. After I graduated high school I moved to North Carolina for school where I attended a church that transformed my whole way of thinking. I learned it is better to be real and honest with who I am. I judged myself more than anyone else.
It was culture shock when I moved cross country. I had already traveled to many countries by then but I had not experienced the ride I was about to have. This church was filled with leadership from multiple countries. Everyone was so happy and free and actually wanted to be involved in each others lives. They dank alcohol, when someone asked how they were doing the other person was honest whether it was good or not so great and people actually listened. They got together for tea, the spent time with each other, and they cared. I had never had this type of community in my life before. Even though I had always known I was loved, I went through some really tough times as a kid and teenager that made me believe that even though God loved me, people didn’t give a shit about one another. Day by day my heart began to change as I made more and more close friends. Something I hadn’t experienced a lot of because when you aren’t honest with people they are less likely to want to invest into your life. I had always loved music but never thought it was something I would start to do daily. While I lived in NC I began writing songs and one day during class someone asked me to sing. I was so nervous I just belted out what was on my heart at the top of my lungs but I couldn’t hear myself over how loud my heart beat was in my chest. Latter two people who became my closest friends told me that it sounded really good. I replay what they spoke to me that day in my head almost daily. I currently am the worship leader and associate pastor at my church. Never, ever in my life did I think that is what I would end up focused on music. Its incredible how one person can say one thing and it can change your whole perspective on something with encouragement and hope.
While I lived there I learned to be honest and to listen and then I brought back what I learned. My parents used to be very legalistic and strict. Life was all about how hard we could work to be perfect. When I came home with the revelation on no matter how hard you work you are still loved my whole family changed. Instead of always striving and working ourselves to we collapsed we began to create more relationship. We began to understand more that God is a Father who loves us no matter what, He is not someone who want to just beat us any time we make a mistake. We learned not just just talk but to listen. We call this soaking, it is a lot like meditating. You quite your mind and you listen to what God has to say to you. Because no relationship should be one sided communication.
Now daily I am able to take joy in many things. I can enjoy music, I can enjoy a good beer with a friend, I can enjoy a meal with someone, I can enjoy time with my family, I can enjoy a good movie, I can find hope in everyday things when I stop believing the lie that no one cares and discover the truth that if I am willing to open up, people want a relationship. This is not what I thought I was going to write today but it just began to flow out so I am going with it.
I want to encourage you today, if you are feeling down, you have lost hope, you need a reminder that you are loved. Take 42 mins quite your mind for all the to-do’s of the day and listen to the video below of my wonderful friend sharing her music today. Then get up and go do something fun for yourself. It’s Friday, enjoy your life.
If you want to hear more music by Kelley Warren Augi and Robert Moses Augi check out their website at http://www.robertandkelley.com/